Unwanted

They tell us over and over in class and in our field placements not to let our own personal feelings get in the way of our service to the client. Do not project beliefs onto the client, do not counter-transfer feelings onto the client... all that technical jargon... I'm impressed that I've kept it under wraps this far. I was seriously tested yesterday, though, when a situation came up between a mother and son. I won't give details, but let's just say the mother's lack of concern was incredibly difficult to hear about and watch. Thankfully the situation was handled quickly, but for a little while my heart was breaking for him.

The hard part was knowing how normal the experience was in his world. He knows his mom doesn't want him. As I sit here and think about that, I can't wrap my mind around how that must feel, and I definitely can't wrap my heart around it. I feel so protective of these kids, and when I think about putting myself in some of their shoes, I feel paralyzed... I wouldn't survive a day, let alone 12, 14, 16 years. I cannot fathom what it feels like to not be loved by my parents. I got everything I needed and then some, and I never questioned their love for me.

I realize I'm trying to figure out what use this stark contrast of experiences might serve in my field placement. I can't understand what he thinks and feels when he thinks about his mom. But can I take what I know and have learned from my parents and use that to serve these kids well? Will that make a difference?